Liana?” I called.
She jumped, sat up straight and hurriedly began fiddling with one of her sleeves. I stopped, confused by her sudden movements. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” I said.
“It’s alright…I was just umm…I was just feeding my fish,” she stammered, tapping her fingers against her cheek awkwardly.
Something’s wrong. I walked towards her, my heart beginning to race. Jodphurs rolled up and feet in the water, her left elbow was bent upward tightly against her chest. I glanced into the fountain at the tiny creatures darting around her feet. There was no food in the water…only large drops of dissipating blood.
“Liana!” I gasped. “What are you doing!?”
“I told you I was feeding my fish!” she exclaimed.
But, when she pulled her feet out of the water and swung around to stand, a tiny blade tinkled unto the stone surface.
“Liana!” I repeated incredulously. “Let me see!” I wrenched her arm down, and there it was…what I thought I’d noticed before, but had never dared ask; blood was oozing from the crook of her arm, and multiple scars lay across it.
“Oh, my God!” I shrieked.
***
"I’ll try not to do it anymore,” she acknowledged.
“That’s not good enough. I know you don’t want to be queen, but to actually start injuring yourself? Why are you doing such a horrible thing? There has to be a reason! Please tell me…I’m your friend. You helped me, I want to help you. Talk to me, please.”
***
She paced across the room wringing her hands over and over, pulling at her hair, the agony obvious on her face. Worried she was on the verge of another breakdown, I reached for her hand, which she grasped, pulling me into the farthest area of her apartment…her bedroom, and closed the door. Sitting on her bed, she gestured me to sit beside her.
Confused, I waited, wondering, until she took a deep breath and plunged.
“Jade?” she began, her tone hushed and low. “While you were in the dungeon…did you have any bad experiences?”
“Liana, the dungeon itself was a bad experience.”
“I know…I meant something else.”
“Tell me what you meant.”
“I meant…bad sexual experiences.”
***
I rose suddenly, the urge to get as far away from this sudden realization too
overpowering. I walked to the window and stared down at the maze. I was repulsed. I was nauseated.
It was only when I decided I couldn’t cope and headed for the door, that I heard the whimpering which grew loudly into deep, heavy sobs.
I turned back. I couldn’t abandon her. She was so alone.
***
Her solemn glance assured me that my assumption was indeed correct. And in our wordless exchange, all that I didn’t understand about Liana instantly became clear. In that moment, her truths were silently communicated.
Clutching my throat, I reached for her hand. For all the violence I had thus far witnessed, nothing could’ve prepared me for that blow. For all the evil I had thus far encountered, nothing could’ve equipped me to cope with this knowledge.
Slaughter of innocent human beings was a gruesome horror, yet I understood that those were acts of hatred and control. What the princess just admitted to was simply beyond my comprehension.
I sat beside her in silent shock for what seemed like an hour, neither of us knowing what to say next, as I struggled to maintain a semblance of strength despite the utter repulsion I felt. What kind of madness was this? What was wrong with these people?
She jumped, sat up straight and hurriedly began fiddling with one of her sleeves. I stopped, confused by her sudden movements. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” I said.
“It’s alright…I was just umm…I was just feeding my fish,” she stammered, tapping her fingers against her cheek awkwardly.
Something’s wrong. I walked towards her, my heart beginning to race. Jodphurs rolled up and feet in the water, her left elbow was bent upward tightly against her chest. I glanced into the fountain at the tiny creatures darting around her feet. There was no food in the water…only large drops of dissipating blood.
“Liana!” I gasped. “What are you doing!?”
“I told you I was feeding my fish!” she exclaimed.
But, when she pulled her feet out of the water and swung around to stand, a tiny blade tinkled unto the stone surface.
“Liana!” I repeated incredulously. “Let me see!” I wrenched her arm down, and there it was…what I thought I’d noticed before, but had never dared ask; blood was oozing from the crook of her arm, and multiple scars lay across it.
“Oh, my God!” I shrieked.
***
"I’ll try not to do it anymore,” she acknowledged.
“That’s not good enough. I know you don’t want to be queen, but to actually start injuring yourself? Why are you doing such a horrible thing? There has to be a reason! Please tell me…I’m your friend. You helped me, I want to help you. Talk to me, please.”
***
She paced across the room wringing her hands over and over, pulling at her hair, the agony obvious on her face. Worried she was on the verge of another breakdown, I reached for her hand, which she grasped, pulling me into the farthest area of her apartment…her bedroom, and closed the door. Sitting on her bed, she gestured me to sit beside her.
Confused, I waited, wondering, until she took a deep breath and plunged.
“Jade?” she began, her tone hushed and low. “While you were in the dungeon…did you have any bad experiences?”
“Liana, the dungeon itself was a bad experience.”
“I know…I meant something else.”
“Tell me what you meant.”
“I meant…bad sexual experiences.”
***
I rose suddenly, the urge to get as far away from this sudden realization too
overpowering. I walked to the window and stared down at the maze. I was repulsed. I was nauseated.
It was only when I decided I couldn’t cope and headed for the door, that I heard the whimpering which grew loudly into deep, heavy sobs.
I turned back. I couldn’t abandon her. She was so alone.
***
Her solemn glance assured me that my assumption was indeed correct. And in our wordless exchange, all that I didn’t understand about Liana instantly became clear. In that moment, her truths were silently communicated.
Clutching my throat, I reached for her hand. For all the violence I had thus far witnessed, nothing could’ve prepared me for that blow. For all the evil I had thus far encountered, nothing could’ve equipped me to cope with this knowledge.
Slaughter of innocent human beings was a gruesome horror, yet I understood that those were acts of hatred and control. What the princess just admitted to was simply beyond my comprehension.
I sat beside her in silent shock for what seemed like an hour, neither of us knowing what to say next, as I struggled to maintain a semblance of strength despite the utter repulsion I felt. What kind of madness was this? What was wrong with these people?